I am a nomadic author, journalist and presenter hatched in Saaf London and warped by a steady diet of sherbet lemons, medically prescribed comic books, dirty grey rain and chips.
After a longish stint in IT, sandwiched between periods of working in every conceivable job you care to mention, and quite a few you would not (except astronaut, as my application was rejected by NASA, damn it), I turned to journalism, presenting and writing fiction.
I have been a regular columnist in a national broadsheet newspaper, and have written features, news articles and opinion pieces for print magazines and online publications. As an author, I write genre fiction, which is ironic really because I started doing that a very, very long time ago. Ouroboros-style career planning or wot? Other creative media type things I do include writing screenplays, developing computer games, radio presenting and podcasting.
As well as having extremely eclectic, not to mention esoteric (possibly even eccentric), tastes in music, film, literature etc., my spare time is occupied both above and below water, tinkering, and occasionally attempting the ascension to rockstardom.
A Scanner Nerdly
Here are a few of my favourite things (and yes, I actually sang that line out loud):
- Toob? Star Trek, Blake's 7, Doctor Who, Babylon 5, and Thunderbirds.
- Flicks? 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976), Star Wars (1977), The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), Blade Runner (1982), Big Trouble in Little China (1986), and Inception (2010).
- Jedi or Sith? Hmmm... Neither. Probably Solo, but without the smugness.
- Empire or Republic? Republic!
- Kirk or Picard? Kirk!
- Doctor and Companion? Doctor? Tom Baker. Companion? Ace or... Leela? Hmmm... I'm conflicted, but I'll say Ace, after all who can argue with Nitro 9?
- Time Lord or...? Timelord? Pah! Let's just leave it at "or" puny human.
- Sartorial Inspirations? Throw Marc Bolan, Jon Finch's Jerry Cornelius and Boba Fett into a washing machine and spin. Vigorously.
- Description of Self? "A riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma", encased in a conundrum, stuffed into a walnut.
- Superheroes? Spider-Man, Batman, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, The Question, Green Arrow, Garth, Vanth Dreadstar, Flash Gordon.
- Supervillains? The Penguin, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Ming the Merciless, The Mekon.
- Anti-Heroes? Kerr Avon, Catwoman, Captain Nemo, Kane the Mystic Swordsman, Mister X, Elektra, Harry Palmer.
- Tech? The personal computer is the best invention since the wheel.
- Code? Loads, but right now C, Lua/LÖVE.
- Martial Arts? Many, though currently Grand Ultimate Fist and the terribly effective Way of the Spider. My special move is running away.
- Acronym? KBN.
- Books? Dune, The Stars My Destination, Neuromancer, The Man Who Japed.
- Tunes? Anything loud or weird and, of course, Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor - the admittedly clichéd theme of a discerning supervillain.
- Yums? Ethiopian or Indonesian Arabica coffee, or Mauritian caramelised coffee, Roquefort in croissants, and Parisian chocolate ganache truffles heavily dusted with fine cocoa.
- Alignment? Chaotic Neutral.
- Peeves? Don't get me started.
- Faults? Massive, and completely justified, superiority complex.
- Places? Curepipe, Mauritius, Mauritian beaches, the pyramids at Giza and here.
- Utopias? Iain M. Banks's Culture.
- Dystopias? The one where I rule you puny humans.
- Dinosaurs? Triceratops.
- HQ? A castle on the summit of Hell Mountain in the peripatetic Kingdom of Garudastan, a ruined mansion in Grand Cabaret, Mauritius, and right here.
- Alias? I categorically deny that I am the tentacled, cybernetic, supervillain rockstar from Dimension 27 known as "The Captain!"
- Current Location? Too late, I'm right behind you, sucker!
You read this far? Congratulations! When next we meet, you shall be rewarded with a scrumptious sherbet lemon.