CRRRaSh! 295 2019 Christmas Special

By Roy Mathur, at 2019-12-25, on 14:27:20 to 14:50:00 GMT, for Captain Roy's Rocket Radio Show, Listen

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to family, friends, and pod crew (i.e. me), and all listeners.

Welcome to a special Christmas Day episode, delivered possibly half-crocked, which is like the Queen's speech only with exactly zero Corgis. If I had to have a dog (though I'd prefer a robot) I'd favour a pug. I even have a crown, a selection in fact. I have a paper crown from an old Christmas cracker currently on Boris's head; my teddy bear who is older and wiser (though that wouldn't be hard) than the current incumbent.

Christmas Cards

Two: one from an auntie, the other from a neighbour. I think my parent's card is delayed somewhere as it has quite a journey to make. (That's what I'm telling myself anyway. Only joking Mum and Dad, I'm sure it's a mail problem).

Christmas Presents

Also zero. The pressure to find something that I actually wanted was just too much so I gave up.

Christmas Dinner

I made too much. In my defence, it's going to feed me until the new year.

His Dark Materials

I finished watching His Dark Materials. I was surprised by the ending and have come to quite like Lyra. It was spoiler-free because I couldn't get through the books.

Click and Collect

I watched comedians Asim Chaudhry and Stephen Merchant do their thing in an obvious, but not actually offensive one-off drama about a dad trying to get his daughter a last-minute present.

A Christmas Carol

Dickens gets the Peaker Blinders treatment. Starts off with peaky peeing kid. That's too many Ps.

Christmas Technological Catastrophes

If you're having a crap Christmas, this will cheer you up. Here are some Christmas technological disasters I have suffered.

I was so hungry yesterday and in a rush to make lunch yesterday that for the very first time, with a fully stocked Christmas freezer, I left the door open for four hours.

This morning my Roku fell out of my pocket and directly into the toilet. My phone simultaneously fell out of the other pocket and then banged, display first, into the ceramic bowl. I dried it out on a towel draped over the radiator, but the phone seemed undamaged. That was lucky because I could watch TV through my RPi 3B+ running LibreELEC using the Yahtse Android remote control app on my phone.

Christmas Messages

I sent everyone on WhatsApp a message, partly because I'm nice, but also because it makes crap friends feel guilty, and enemies feel small. I didn't do the same on Skype because that would only confirm to past guests that they shouldn't have given out their contact details to a weirdo.